Why Self-Discovery Matters (Especially for Women & Mothers)

In Indonesia, many women grow up being taught to “menyesuaikan diri”—to adjust, adapt, give in. It’s a strength, but it can also disconnect us from our own truth. By the time we become adults (or mothers), we’ve become experts in putting everyone else first.

But what happens when the kids are asleep, the dishes are done, and the room is finally quiet?

Often, a question whispers:“Who am I… beyond all of this?”

That’s the beginning of self-discovery.

What Research Says

Psychologist Carl Rogers believed that

"the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

Recent studies in identity formation and narrative psychology show that self-reflection, storytelling, and inner work are key to rebuilding emotional clarity—especially after major life transitions like motherhood, divorce, or burnout (McAdams & McLean, 2013).

Self-discovery has real mental health benefits:

✔️ Reduced anxiety

✔️ Stronger sense of purpose

✔️ Healthier boundaries

✔️ More self-compassion

The Journey Isn’t Linear—And That’s Okay

Some days you’ll feel clear. Other days you’ll feel like you’re unraveling in a pile of unfolded laundry and existential questions.

That’s still the work.

Self-discovery is less of a straight road, more of a spiral.You return to the same questions—but each time, you meet them with more grace, more self-trust, and less panic.

How to Begin (Wherever You Are)

Here’s a gentle start:

1. Pause. Create space. Not everything needs your immediate reaction.

2. Write. Ask: “What makes me feel alive?” or “What have I been silencing?”

3. Move. Dance, walk, breathe—get out of your head and into your body.

4. Listen. Not to the loudest voice, but the kindest one inside you.

   
   

The Reminder You Need

You are not a project to be fixed.You are a story unfolding.And even if it feels blurry now, you are already on your way home.

Take a breath.Take one small step.And if you need a companion on this path—I’m right here.