Matrescence in Indonesia: The Motherhood Identity Shift No One Talks About

From PPD Survivor to Doula—A Real Talk on Rediscovering Yourself Through the Chaos of Becoming a Mom

Motherhood is more than diapers and lullabies—it's a rite of passage. Discover what matrescence really means, why it's missing from Indonesia’s motherhood narrative, and how you can come home to yourself again.

Let’s be honest: in Indonesia, the transition into motherhood often sounds like a fairy tale—complete with baby showers, confinement rituals, and unsolicited parenting advice from strangers on WhatsApp. But what we rarely talk about is the identity earthquake happening beneath the surface. It’s called matrescence—and no, it’s not a typo for adolescence.

Coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael, matrescence describes the physical, emotional, hormonal, and social transformation a woman undergoes as she becomes a mother. Much like adolescence, it’s messy, confusing, and deeply human. Yet, unlike adolescence, nobody prepares us for it—not our schools, not our culture, and often, not even ourselves.

As a doula and postpartum depression (PPD) survivor, I’ve seen it all—moms crying in silence, feeling guilty for not “loving every moment,” and wondering, Where did I go?

Why Is Matrescence Still a Mystery in Indonesia?

In Indonesia, motherhood is often romanticized. You're expected to morph into an “Ibu-Ibu Idaman” overnight—cooking nutritious meals, managing your in-laws, breastfeeding like a goddess, and posting #blessed photos on Instagram. But inside? Many mothers feel lost.

A 2022 study by the Ministry of Health revealed that 1 in 9 Indonesian mothers experience symptoms of postpartum depression, yet the numbers are likely underreported due to stigma and lack of awareness. Most are told, “Kurang bersyukur aja,” or “Capek biasa, namanya juga jadi ibu.”

But what if we reframed this discomfort not as failure—but as transformation?

“We need to talk about motherhood not just as a role, but as a rite of passage,” says Dr. Aurelie Athan, a psychologist and matrescence researcher from Columbia University. “It’s not losing yourself, it’s becoming more of who you are.”

The Self-Rediscovery Phase: Coming Home to You

Matrescence isn’t just about the baby being born—it’s also about the mother being reborn. And that rebirth? It can be disorienting. Hormones shift. Friendships evolve. Your dreams may feel distant. Your old jeans definitely don’t fit.

But slowly, through breathwork, journaling, healing spaces like lingkaran ibu or Mother Circles, something starts to return—you.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Indonesia needs more safe spaces for mothers to speak up, unravel, and rebuild. We need doulas, therapists, and community educators who understand matrescence not as pathology—but as psychology, biology, and sacred transition.

If you're a mother reading this, know this:You’re not failing. You’re just unfolding.

Take a breath. Let’s talk about it. Let’s name it.